In some cases, tough love principles have been twisted and used inappropriately. Tough love does not advocate abuse or kicking teens out of the house. Those approaches clearly go against the tough love philosophy.
Some teen boot camps and military schools claim to use tough love. However, many of them don’t subscribe to tough love philosophies.
Tough love does not:
- Advocate embarrassing, shaming, or abusing teens in any way.
- Lock or kick teens out of the house.
- Suggest producing pain in teens; to the contrary, they advocate bringing about positive changes.
- Favor harsh rules or physical punishments.
- Involve threats of calling the police in an effort to scare children into behaving.
The original tenets of tough love are a philosophy that works better for some families and some situations than for others; it is one of the few parenting strategies that have endured over many years.