If you’re about to become a mom or you’re the mom of a new baby, you’ve probably heard a lot about the magical, mystical bond of moms and babies.

“There’s nothing like the love of a mother and child!” people proclaim, their eyes going all misty at the very thought of such a magical moment. And while the love of a mother is a beautiful thing, it’s most important to realize that not all mothers fall in instant love with their babies the second they are born—and that’s completely normal.

Katherine Stone, who runs the non-profit organization Postpartum Progress, which is dedicated to postpartum depression awareness, described her own experience with not falling head-over-heels in love with her baby. ​

“The pressure for ‘motherhood to change me’ and for my love for him to be ‘overwhelming’ was too much,” she wrote. “It hadn’t happened overnight. “This is extremely hard for me to admit, and I have tears rolling down my face as I write this. Not because I still feel the same, but because nobody told me this could happen, so I thought I wasn’t normal. I beat myself up, and I broke my own heart. I became convinced I didn’t love him enough and there was something wrong with me.”

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