Reality Sets In - Thoughts Feeds
  • October 15, 2019

Reality Sets In

The first sign that the infatuation phase is wearing off is a sense of disillusionment. You start to notice habits and flaws in your partner and become critical of some of his or her behaviors and attitudes. Some of the same traits that you found so attractive at first start to show their downside. (For example, someone who seemed confident and decisive at first might now seem rude and close-minded.)

Additionally, as the high wears off, you both start to show your true personalities and aren’t as forgiving and unselfish as you were when your partner seemed like he could do no wrong. While at first, you may have gone out of your way to accommodate the other person, you may start to feel like your own needs aren’t being met.

As idealization fades, you may find yourself feeling resentful that your partner is no longer causing that wonderfully intoxicating feeling anymore. In some cases, serious problems, like addiction or abusive tendencies, can reveal themselves, and potentially be dealbreakers.

Getting through this phase requires the ability to compromise, to speak up about your needs and wants, and to learn how to resolve conflict productively. Rather than trying to change your partner, your focus should be on learning to respect each other. You will discover if, ultimately, you both have the desire to make the relationship work despite challenges.

Facing inevitable challenges, however, doesn’t mean the underlying feelings of love and attraction go away.

Being able to manage the inevitable bumps in the road is a good indicator that the relationship can evolve into something more long-lasting and stable.

Sticking with a person who inspires romantic feelings, and communicating your dreams, desires, and thoughts with one another can lead to true intimacy and attachment, the next stage of love.

About the Author

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *