To start this piece, I think it is really important that you know this fact… my husband is a genuinely kind person. He is a good man. He is a nice human being. He is thoughtful, quiet, and very practical. He is very pragmatic and he enjoys the simplest pleasures. But somehow, he has managed to fall in love with a very wide variety of women. And it wasn’t just before our marriage either. He was still falling in love with women even during our marriage.
And this article is going to center around my husband and the women that he fell in love with.
Very many years ago, he chanced upon a very young woman. And based on the way that he recanted this story to me, he was immediately smitten by her. She was a corporate lady who wore blazers and pencil skirts. She sported stilettos and she was a very uptight and rigid girl. You who are reading this might already be familiar with the type.
They had dinner and drinks. It was a very memorable first date. He says that they had an instant connection that neither of them could ignore. He told me about how sharp and energetic she was. Apparently, she had incredible wit and she was always stimulating him. She was always able to give a quick retort or a witty reply.
Whenever she’d get into town, he would pick her up at the airport. He was always so excited at the thought of finally being able to spend time with her. He even went as far so as to tell me that she was his first true love. Whenever he tells me this story, I just can’t help but feel envious of her. I know I have no right to be jealous. But I know that the effect she had on him was really unlike anything else.
I have also seen pictures of the girls he met when he was in graduate school. I recall that there was this one photo in particular where this one girl he fell in love with was sitting under the shade while he was building a deck for his house. The two of them together looked so serene and peaceful. He seemed very much happy and content to be working next to her. He didn’t really seem to be looking to her for help. He was just content with the fact that she was there and that they were spending time together.
They studied for their classes together. They talked about so many things that I never really understood myself. They broached topics such as game theory and market competition. They discussed organizational change theory and other technical stuff like that. They stayed up late to study and talk about the love that they had for one another.
There was a certain calm and stillness in their relationship that was rare to find. They were able to engage in a level of discussion that I never really managed to reach with him. Whenever I see that photo of the two of them, it makes me jealous as well. It makes me yearn for that kind of connection; that kind of immense bond.
Many years later, he was spending a lot of time with another woman. But this girl turned out to be much different from the others. She was pregnant with a child and she was suffering from a perpetual case of nausea. She had to deal with so many shots and complications that accompanied her pregnancy. He often told me about how impressed he was with the strength and resilience that she carried throughout that time.
After the baby came, she would cry. She was in so much pain and she asked him for assistance to do even the simplest of things. She even had difficulty just standing up.
Most of their conversations revolved around family planning and parenting. And it’s because of how caring she was that he ended up wanting to take care of her as well. He even told me that he never really wanted to take care of anyone else more. Whenever I think about this lady, I admire how she was able to really keep my husband hooked with her generous and kind heart.
I have seen so many women in the many years that my husband and I have been together.
I used to be a student. I used to be a hardcore professional. And it all transitioned into being a full-time mother. I’ve been so many things to this world and in the eyes of my husband as well. And all throughout our relationship, he has loved the various stages of me. He was always so consistent.
And I can only hope that he’s still going to continue to love the many different personas I will take on in the future.