What’s the difference between obsession and love?
Be very careful. While love and obsession can look almost identical from the outside, they are two fundamentally different human sensations that we can experience with other people. There is a substantial difference between loving a person so much to the point where you make a conscious decision to be with this person every single day of your life for as long as you live and obsession, where you practically make this person the center of your entire universe. You have to remember to tow the line because the lines can often be blurred between the two feelings. You want to fall in love with someone. But you don’t want to be unhealthily obsessed with them.
So how can you tell the difference between the two especially if they look so much a like? How can you be careful that you love your partner and that you’re not obsessing over them? Well, there are a few things that you can be on the lookout for. You just have to stay vigilant and seek out the signals. Be your own watchman. Police yourself. And when you find yourself engaging in obsessive behavior, correct yourself immediately. Love can help flourish a relationship and make it as magical as possible. But obsession can only bring toxicity into a romance.
1. You spend so many hours every day just thinking and wondering about when they’re going to reply to your text message.
Yes, it’s good that you want to be in constant communication with your man. But constant communication doesn’t mean that you have to be talking to one another nonstop all day, every day. You have to be able to have your own lives as well. And you can’t spend the time away from your partner thinking about when you’re going to talk again. So put that phone away and let them miss you for a bit.
2. You find yourself unable to function effectively whenever you’re not together.
You should still be able to be a productive human being whenever you’re apart from one another. You should still be able to find happiness in other things that don’t concern your relationship. You should still be able to have a good time even when your partner isn’t within the same vicinity as you. If you need them to be at your side in order for you to be happy, then that is a state of unhealthy neediness that could eventually destroy your relationship.
3. You allow their life to take over your own to the point where you lose your sense of identity.
Yes, it’s okay for you to adopt a few aspects of your partner’s personality to your own especially if it makes you a better person. But it isn’t healthy to adopt their entire personality as a whole. You still have to be able to hold on to who you are.
4. You can’t keep yourself calm if you don’t know exactly where they are or what they are doing.
You have to be more trusting of your partner. Remember that part of loving a person is being able to trust them even when you’re not together. You don’t need constant updates to know that they are still doing right by you. Allow them to do their own thing without you. You have to be able to trust them if you want things to work out.
5. Your social media pages are practically virtual shrines for your partner.
Take a look at your Facebook and Instagram feeds. How much of the screen is composed of your partner’s face? If it’s an obscenely high amount, then you know that you are obsessing over your partner way too much. Your social media page is a reflection of who you are. And it’s okay for you to want to broadcast your love. But it shouldn’t be the only thing that defines who you are or what your life is made of.
6. You find yourself talking about your partner way more often than people are comfortable with.
Not every conversation that you have with everyone has to constantly revolve around your relationship. If you find yourself virtually incapable of discussing other matters, then you are definitely unhealthily obsessing over your romance. And it’s the kind of unhealthy obsession that oversaturates your love and alienates you from everyone else around you.
7. You are thinking too far ahead in the relationship.
Don’t be prematurely thinking about marriage and having children if you’ve only been going out on a few dates. Don’t be talking about where you’re going to be living together when you grow old if you’re still just trying to get to know one another. Yes, it’s good to be forward-thinking. But you also have to be able to live in the moment. Take things as they come. Appreciate the present moment while you’re actually in it. Don’t give in to romanticizing the idea of forever too much.