1. No matter how dark and painful life might seem at the moment, you always have something to be thankful for.
Yes, it sucks to have your heart broken. It can practically feel like the end of the world. And the harder that you fall for someone, the more painful it is when that person leaves you. You meet someone and you learn to grow attached to that person over time – and the more that attachment grows, the more difficult it’s going to be for you to detach yourself from that person when the relationship falls apart.
And even though you might feel like you’re going through absolute hell at the moment of your breakup, you still have to remember that there are plenty of things in life that are worth being thankful for. Yes, you are allowed to have ill feelings. You are allowed to be sad and devastated. But you shouldn’t let all of that darkness consume you – because there is still so much light in your life that you can’t just choose to neglect. Don’t let the darkness of your pain drive out all of the light of your joys.
2. No one should ever have the right to justify the act of causing you pain and hurting you.
You should never let other people get away with deliberately hurting you. There is no situation in the world wherein intended pain on another person should be validated – especially in a romantic relationship.
3. No one gets to tell you how you should feel about something.
If you feel bad about something in your relationship – then no one else has the right to tell you that you shouldn’t be feeling bad. No one has the right to dictate your feelings and emotions. You are your own person and you have the right to be feeling however you might want to feel about something. And if your relationship ends, no one has the right to be speeding up or prolonging the healing process. You should get to heal at your own pace because it’s you who has to deal with your personal feelings on your own.
4. No matter how great a person might seem at first, you must always make it a point to stay guarded.
Even when a person seems like the best thing to have ever happened to you at first, you can’t let your guard down all at once. That is a reckless way to go about falling in love. Yes, when you fall in love with someone, it always entails a certain sense of humility and vulnerability. You must always be opening yourself up to someone on an intimate level – but you have to do so gradually. It’s just far too risky to be opening yourself up all at once. You never really know a person until you spend a certain amount of time together.
5. You can still wish for your ex-love to eventually find happiness despite them hurting you.
You don’t have to be so vindictive even when you’ve been hurt. In fact, one of the most effective ways of really moving on from a failed relationship is just letting go of all of the ill wishes and the hurt feelings. It’s washing them away completely and turning over a new leaf with a renewed perspective on life and love. Just because you wish your ex well doesn’t mean that you tolerate them treating you badly – it’s just you being mature.
6. You are never going to find a sense of completion in another person.
As tempting as it might be to give into the idea that you can only ever really find happiness in another person, it just isn’t the truth. You aren’t going to feel complete in life just because you land yourself in a relationship. You’re not going to feel like you are living a life of meaning just because you’ve found the love of your life.
Your sense of fulfilment isn’t going to depend on whether or not another person falls in love with you. You are really the only person in the world who can complete yourself; and you need to recognize that as early as now. You need to stop relying on other people to give meaning and fulfilment to your life.
7. You should still be able to find the strength to fall in love again.
You have been hurt. You have been bent and broken. You have been used and abused. But that doesn’t mean that you are unworthy of love. You shouldn’t take that to mean that you aren’t allowed to try your hand at love ever again.
But most importantly, you shouldn’t let the fear of getting hurt deny you of the chance to fall in love for real. At the end of the day, love is always going to be some kind of risk. And you’re just going to have to be willing to put yourself out there – all for the sake of love. Because if we can’t risk ourselves for love, then what else is really worth risking ourselves for love, then what else is there to really risk ourselves for?