7 Reasons Why You’re Always The Victim In Relationships - Thoughts Feeds
  • November 18, 2019

7 Reasons Why You’re Always The Victim In Relationships

Perhaps you are the one who is victimizing yourself.

You’re the problem. There’s no point in beating around the bush. You are the one who needs to change and make adjustments to improve your situation.

Consider this. You are constantly jumping from one relationship to another. You meet someone, you fall in love, you develop a routine, but then you start to grow apart and things eventually break down. You keep on repeating this process like a broken record and it’s taking a heavy toll on your heart and mind. And the worst part is that you feel lost. You don’t know what the problem is and so you don’t know how to fix it. You don’t understand why things keep on going wrong and so you’re just left to sit and wonder about how sad you are. You keep on playing the victim but you don’t really understand why. Your closest friends are telling you that you’re not the problem and that it’s all just a matter of bad luck. They keep telling you that you’re just dating the wrong people and that if you keep on trying, you’re eventually going to meet the person who is right for you. But they’re just being nice to you and they don’t want to hurt your feelings. This article doesn’t care about your feelings. This article wants to protect you from yourself and so here’s the truth: you are the problem. There’s no luck involved here at all.

Well, okay. That’s unfair. Maybe some luck is involved. Perhaps some of the people that you date really are bad for you and perhaps they contribute to the problem. But you have to consider this: out of all of your failed relationships, you are the common denominator here. You are the one who is the common factor. And so what you have to do now is to take a deep look at your personality and your character; you have to be able to reflect properly on how you conduct yourself and try to see if your own actions are contributing to your own bad luck. Perhaps you are the one who is victimizing yourself. And if you manage to spot some flaws in your character, then that’s a good thing. That means that you are humble enough to acknowledge that you are imperfect and that there are some aspects of your personality that you need to improve on. But if you’re completely clueless, then this article is a good way to start. Here are 7 possible reasons why you’re always the victim in relationships.

1. You attract yourself to all the wrong kinds of partners.

You are always choosing to date the people who are wrong for you. It’s a deliberate choice that you make to only entertain those people who are actually really bad for you and all the potentially good partners always get ignored and unentertained.

2. You only look at the things that are good and you blind yourself to the bad.

Sometimes, your feelings can betray you. You might get your hopes up too high for a particular person or relationship and you end up blinding yourself to the reality of the situation. You will trick your mind into only acknowledging all of the good parts of the relationships even though there are so many red flags and bad signs that you need to pay attention to.

3. You fall in love with people who are unavailable to you.

Unavailability can manifest itself in many forms. It can be physical, mental, and emotional unavailability that we’re talking about here. For example, you might be dating someone who is physically unavailable because they’re too far away from you. You might be dating someone who is emotionally unavailable because they are in another relationship.


4. You have a reluctance to step out of your comfort zone.

Maybe the reason why you keep falling into the same traps over and over again in your relationships is because you never open yourself up to new approaches to love. You refuse to step outside of your comfort zone even though your comfort zone hasn’t necessarily been kind to you. You would rather fail with what’s familiar than take a chance on something new.

5. You have self-esteem issues.

Sometimes, when you have confidence or self-esteem issues, it can carry over into how you are treated in a relationship. There is some truth to the idea that no one would ever love you if you don’t know how to love yourself.

6. You don’t allow yourself to become vulnerable.

Relationships will always allow a sense of vulnerability. You have to open yourself up in a relationship if you want your partner to be able to trust you. Your relationship is never going to thrive if you don’t give it the space that it needs to grow.

7. You don’t know what you want out of your relationships.

Lastly, you might not know what you’re looking for and that’s why you always end up becoming disappointed. You need to have a set of expectations for your partners and relationships so you have something to work towards to.

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