The worst part about being in a toxic relationship is that all the pain you are going through doesn’t end the moment you escape from it. Instead, it takes you a lot of time, effort and self-introspection to get back on your feet.
While you are involved with someone toxic, you put all of your energy into loving that person with all of their flaws and imperfections. And in that process, you lose yourself.
You lose your sense of self-value which leads to you being convinced that you are not worthy of being loved by anyone else, including yourself. And this is exactly what happened to this girl.
All the devastating pain that her toxic relationship brought her made her forget the importance of self-love and self-appreciation. After she broke free from it, she literally had to learn how to love herself again. And this is how she managed to do so.
1. She let go
The first step this girl took in the process of learning to love herself again was to let go. But I mean really, truly let go of this man, of her relationship and of all the negativity connected with it.
She didn’t just break up with her ex. She also cut all ties with him and got rid of everything that reminded her of him. She threw away all of his clothes, presents and every little thing that could possibly remind her of him.
She stopped hanging out with his friends and family because she didn’t want to hear anyone mention his name. She stopped going to the places where she knew she would see him and she stopped listening to songs which reminded her of him.
You might assume that this was her running away from everything that went on. That this was her trying to pretend that this relationship never happened and her hiding away from the pain.
But this was the only way for this girl to stop replaying all of their memories. The only way for her to stop looking for an explanation and to stop looking for closure. It was the only way for her to really let go of everything that could have been and to completely let go of the past.
2. She remained single
When you end a bad relationship, the first impulse you have is to find someone new. You think this will help you get over your ex or you think it will be a great way to seek sweet revenge on him.
But this girl did the complete opposite. She decided to remain single until the right guy came along and she decided to enjoy that single life.
After a long time, she was now teaching herself how to function on her own and how to live without a plus one. She was learning about herself, about the things she liked or disliked, enjoyed or didn’t enjoy doing and those were things she couldn’t have done if she had a new partner.
3. She learned to be a little bit selfish
When she broke things off with her toxic ex, this girl thought of all the time, energy and effort she had put into their relationship. She thought of how much she tried around this guy.
And she decided it was time for some major changes. It was time for her to dedicate all of this energy and effort to herself, without worrying if that would make her selfish.
For the first time ever, she prioritized herself. She put her needs and desires in front of everyone else’s and she started doing only the things that pleased her.
4. She surrounded herself with positivity
Not only did she cut this guy out of her life completely, she also kicked out everyone else who brought her negativity and pessimism. She got rid of all the people who had tried to tell her what to do or who tried to change her.
Instead, she surrounded herself with positivity. She surrounded herself with people who mean there well and with people who spread only positive vibes and energy.
And that changed her outlook on the world. It changed the way she saw herself and the way she saw everything around her.
5. She forgave herself
When you end a toxic relationship and when you start seeing things clearly, after a while, for the first time in a while, reality hits you hard. You see everything that was going on and how someone treated you.
And you blame yourself for allowing it. You blame yourself for wasting so many years on someone who was never worthy.
This is exactly what happened to this girl. But instead of dwelling in self-guilt, she decided to forgive herself for loving the wrong person.
She kept telling herself that she wasn’t to blame for all the pain she experienced. No, she wasn’t stupid or foolish—she had just been in love.
6. She made herself happy
Finally, after completing all of these steps, this girl started working on making herself truly happy because she realized she was the only one who could do so. She started working on self-improvement and she started pampering and spoiling herself.
This girl started loving herself the way her ex should have and the way she always wanted to be loved. And not only that—she also decided that she would never allow her happiness to depend on someone else.