I Love You, But You Don’t Deserve Me - Thoughts Feeds
  • November 18, 2019

I Love You, But You Don’t Deserve Me

I love you, I do. But I love me more. I gave you everything I had. I tried so hard to help you, hoping that you would stand on your own two feet again. I tried so hard to make you feel loved, hoping that you’d see that you’re worthy of it. But you didn’t, and honestly, I can’t take it anymore.

I bent over backwards to show you that I still love you and that I don’t want us to end, but now I see the man I loved is long gone. That man somehow got lost along the way and you turned into a guy who only takes, but never gives. A guy who sees me as his rock, but who is unable to be mine.

A man who thinks everyone is out to get him, that he’s the only victim. I love you, but I can’t take this anymore. I can’t keep on being the one who’s always to blame. I can’t keep on being the bad guy when I’m not. I love you, but I love me more.

 

You hurt me and even though I miss you, I know I no longer deserve this heartbreak. I don’t want to get over you, but for my own sake, that is exactly what I need to do. For too long have I let men control my happiness, but now it’s time I wished you good luck and took the control back.

I love you, but you don’t deserve my tears. How can I stay with you when you’re the guy who caused me this heartache? You are supposed to wipe the tears from my face. You’re supposed to kiss them away. You’re supposed to keep me from crying.

Instead, you’re the one making me cry. You’re the one whose actions break my heart every day – every time you let me fall asleep alone, every time you let me go to bed thinking that I’m not enough, every time you let me walk away without coming after me, thinking that I’ll come back. But not anymore.

You don’t deserve my affection and commitment. You don’t deserve my attention anymore. My feelings for you have not disappeared overnight, but my respect has. I am finally ready to admit to myself that it’s the end of our love affair. I wish I could say that you deserve better, but that’s not true.

I deserve better than you and by letting you go, that’s the only thing I will go after now. I will not let my heartbreak define me and I will keep my head held high. You may have broken my heart, but my spirit is still intact. I will move on and find my happy place again.

I love you, but you don’t deserve my devotion. I’m done giving you everything and getting nothing in return. I’m done giving you all of my time, all of my love, all of me, just so I would fix you. I’m done making an effort and watching it go unappreciated and unnoticed.

I finally know that it’s not up to me to fix you. I’m not supposed to give away parts of me to complete you. I’m not meant to lose myself so you can find yourself. That’s toxic love and I’ve had enough of it.

I used to think that I was the one whose responsibility it was to mend your heart when you felt broken. But it’s not. That’s on you. I can only give you so much without getting broken myself. Heartache is not something to be shared. Just because you are damaged doesn’t mean I need to be too.

And this is why I accept the end of us. I know that my effort and devotion deserve to be reciprocated, and these are things you will never be able to give me.

 

I love you, but you don’t deserve my heart. You don’t deserve my love, and you don’t deserve to share my happiness or my pain. You wouldn’t know how to appreciate it anyway. You never did.

You took me for granted. You just kept taking and taking parts of me without even checking on me. You used me as a trash bin, always venting at me, but you never showed interest in helping me. I was broken too. I was sad too. I needed you too.

Did you ever care enough to see the pain in my eyes? Was there ever a moment in our relationship when you really saw me?

Not the woman who’s here only to help you, but the woman who loved you with all of her heart, the woman who was ready to spend the rest of her life with you? The woman who has her own story, her own past, and her own hopes and dreams? Or was I just convenient to have around?

My mother always told me, ”Either make him see your love, devotion, and sacrifice for your relationship or show him the door!” and I am finally listening to her advice. This is my way of showing you I was too good for you anyway.

Marilyn Monroe put it best:

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

I love you, but you don’t deserve me. You no longer deserve my body, my mind, or my soul. You took me for granted, and not once did you fight for me. Not once did you show me that you were ready to commit to me, that you were ready to commit to us.

Not once did you make me feel loved, and I don’t deserve that. I deserve more than to be half-loved. I deserve more than to just be there when you need me. I deserve someone who will want me, who will want to spend time with me, who will do his utmost to put a smile on my face.

Someone who will want to date me for the rest of our lives, not only because I’m good for him, but because he loves me. I deserve to be loved, and, let’s be honest, you never loved me. You saw me as the all-American girl next door, but there is so much more to me than that.

I used to think that I would miss you and our Netflix and chill nights more than anything else. The way you stroked my hair as I was falling asleep on your shoulder – God knows how often that happened. But those are all things I am determined to forget now.

There has to be someone else out there who will be able to give me what I deserve without needing me to compromise my happiness. I choose to believe God has better plans for me than this, and that’s what is helping me push through.

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