It completely sucks when you keep choosing somebody who’d never chosen you. It sucks when you think ‘this is it’ and it turns out it isn’t. This keeps happening to me. I keep misreading people and I keep giving them roles in my life they can’t or they won’t play.
When you chose her over me, I was so mad.
I kept blaming her for stealing you away from me. The ugly part is that you were never really mine, were you? I just borrowed you from somebody for a little while. You were never gonna be mine forever.
When you chose her over me, I kept wondering what she has that I don’t.
The answer is nothing. She was just a fresh person in your life and that’s the only difference. She wasn’t better or prettier. She wasn’t smarter or funnier. There was nothing she did better than me, and yet, she was my replacement.
When you chose her over me, it hurt like hell.
It’s not just a phrase or a girly thing—it’s a human thing in fact. Rejection hurts. Knowing that somebody else has what was mine hurts. Knowing she gets to do the things I wanted to do with you, knowing she gets to visit places with you that I wanted, made me feel so jealous.
When you chose her over me, I figured a cheater stays a cheater.
I know she’s not your last choice. I know there will be another girl after her and another and another. There is nothing wrong with girls that you choose—you’re a good sellout—but there is everything wrong with you.
You keep replacing girls like worn out socks and each of us thinks she’s different and this time you’re going to settle. But you won’t. Because you’re not that type. You’re all in until you get a girl and once you get her, you’re all out.
When you chose her over me, I hoped you’ll treat her better.
I sincerely wished for her a less broken heart than mine. I hoped you wouldn’t emotionally abuse her and that she wouldn’t stay emotionally damaged after you. I hoped she’d see your intention better than I did. I sincerely wished for her to be saved by somebody and I kind’ve hoped she’d do to you things you’re doing to all your girls.
When you chose her, I felt relieved.
I was heartbroken, but I was relieved that you’d left. I knew there is no more you and me and I knew there is no getting back together. I realized that all this trauma could’ve been easily escaped by one single step—walking away.
If you hadn’t walked away, I could’ve never done it.
I would’ve stayed forever in this miserable relationship where I was constantly dragged down. I’d stay with somebody who’d never appreciated my efforts and who’d never loved me the way I deserved it. If you hadn’t walked away, I would’ve never known what a toxic relationship is and how it feels good to break free from it.
If you hadn’t chosen her, we’d be still together and I’d still be going through the hell only you dared to put me through. That’s why choosing her was the best thing you have ever done for me.